"It is what it is."
I've heard those words a lot, especially lately, in regards to a situation that isn't to our favor, to something that's glaringly wrong, but we feel we can't do anything about. A relationship going sour? It is what it is. A job we don't love, or barely like, or can barely will ourselves to show up for? It is what it is. Home situation sucky? It is what it is. I've used those words for each of those things, and more. Until tonight.
I had something of an epiphany tonight. While dealing with a situation I legitimately can't do very much about, a friend of mine told me about a situation that she has the power to fix, if she so chose. The fix would be difficult, and benefit would not be shown in the near term, but it could be done. Instead? Shrug of the shoulder. It is what it is. I can't do that anymore.
There's a prayer from the days I used to be able to cross the threshold of a church that popped into my head: God, grant me the strength to change what I can change, the serenity to accept what I can't change, and the wisdom to know the difference. I think that too often we are too stuck on the second part. No more. Not for me.
There is too much that I legitimately can't change, too much beyond my control, for me to not actively and frequently affect the things I can change. Too many times, I have been denied what I really want simply because I lacked the stones to go for it, instead chalking it up to one of those things I couldn't change. I'm tired of painting myself the victim of circumstance. No more excuses.