Mr. Candidate (Re-run)

As it's Election season again, I dug up an Facebook note that I humbly submit as a conversation starter.


Hello, my name is Franklyn Thomas and I'd like to announce my candidacy for... well, whatever you got.  I'm not a politician, nor do I have any political experience, but that hasn't stopped some out there (I'm looking at you, Mr. Paladino from New York).  I'm not terribly angry as much as I'm tired of people who claim to have my best interest at heart, but don't.  I figure, hey, these guys are running on sound bites, I might try to run on something else: ideas.  Duh moment: this country has problems.  We need solutions.  Not the solutions that have been crammed down our throats for generations, new solutions from this era.  From us, not some wrinkled old dude.

For starters, as Americans we've been conditioned to believe for the last 30 years or so that the wealthy will save us if we just hand them money.  That is the essential concept behind trickle-down economics.  The problem is, it doesn't work.  Not in this economy.  It may work in a situation where we made stuff, manufactured things, but these days our prime export is debt.  We buy and sell debt like it's wood or brick or steel.  We don't manufacture anything on a global scale anymore.  This is a problem that is endemic to the bottom and has worked its way to the top of our system.  People would prefer to be ballers than bricklayers, to be power brokers instead of handling power tools.  How do we combat it?  We address the bottom of the structure.  As your elected official, I would push forth legislation that would allow the government to make it easier for our children and young adults to be educated, and for our educators to be better compensated and appreciated.  This would include a mandatory minimum salary for teachers in the public system that would provide a 50% increase in pay across the board.  In return, I would insist that a similarly mandatory accountability system that would be handled by an impartial group of parents, alumni, and teachers in the region to rank our teachers and the job that they do.  From the student's side, I would introduce legislation that would sponsor optional region-specific curriculum to better prepare students for post-educational life in these regions.  For instance: our farming states in the middle of the country would benefit from eduating our youth in how to work a farm, how to manage crops and farm labor, animal care, how to turn a profit.  This educational approach could be applied to a wide variety of problems plaguing our society today; teach our children how to better their communities, and those communities will better their towns, their states, and the country on a whole.

Expanding on this point, my government would be willing to abate most or all of the collegiate expense of the children and young adults who enrolled in a program that addressed a specific need in their region or in the country as a whole.  our infrastructure is crumbling, especially in smaller towns and cities across the United States; we need visionary engineers to help us fortify it.  My administration would set up a "farm system" of sorts, where we pay for engineers to be educated to their bachelors level, and they work on rebuilding our roads and cities for 10 years.  We need educators; students who would be willing to nurture their love of teaching would find the United States very appreciative of their efforts.  We need to solve our energy crisis within my lifetime so that my grandchildren will not have to bear the punishment of what we have put into our atmosphere for so many generations.  My administration would be willing to fund the dreams of the wide-eyed optimists entering college expressly to figure out how.

I believe in the ideal that the role and purpose of government is not just to defend, but to invest in its people.  The best of those investments in the education and the health of its people.  And even though I'm sure it would cost me voters who believe that socialism is communism, I would support the defeated Public Option for healthcare.  As a healthcare worker, I can tell you that the insurance companies do not care about you.  They care about their profits, same as any other business.  I would not deny them their right to make money, however part of their purpose is to make it so that being ill doesn't make you broke.  The insurance companies have not been living up to that.  Capitalism is the theory of letting the market decide.  I believe we should introduce a government backed option, similar to the option that is already extended to federal workers and politicians, that offers reduced cost health care.  The response of the industry could only be to reduce their cost, to not repel customers and to end the general (excuse my French) fuckery they have perpetrated on us for the last 30 years.  This may not be as important to the people of New York or Washington state, who already have the benefit of several insurance companies competing over your hard earned dollar.  However, states like Alabama or Tennessee, whose single, statewide insurance companies leave options limited to "eat shit" and "like it" could benefit from this.

The third prong of my campaign falls under energy independence.  This isn't simply about finding new oil wells on our land and seas; this is about changing our worldview.  The reason why the Middle Eastern nations are such an important thing to us is solely about the vast reservoirs of oil they sit upon.  We make bad deals over it.  We fight bad wars over it.  Our mindset must change.  Developing a new, sustainable energy source must be our top priority, if for no other reason than it will remove the leverage of groups like al-Qaeda, who can find refuge in oil-bearing nations who love our dollars and hate our ways.  We can end the extortion by finding another way.


My ideas on this are a little different.  This country is not homogenous.  The landscape alone could be divided into six different nations with six different needs and six different sets of resources.  We can make practical use of the winds in the midwest, the sun in the desert, the water along the Mississippi and so forth to power our nation.  The point is, we can figure out a way to power our nation without fighting another oil war, without worrying about another oil rig exploding.  Ever.  And as your elected official, I would work tirelessly, day and night to do so.

Lastly, and most importantly, I'd like to outline my plan for the unemployment rate.  Harsh, severe taxation for American companies who do more than 20% of their manufacturing overseas.  There is simply no room for that kind of outsourcing in today's economy.  There is no reason why these practices should be allowed to continue.  Conversely, I would like to initiate tax breaks for companies who bring their manufacturing jobs back home.  Overseas companies who do manufacturing in the US would be subject to the same taxation; heavy taxes for not utilizing American workers for products made and sold in the US, tax reprieves for high employment.

So, in conclusion, my fellow Americans, I would look forward to seeing you on Election Day, and we begin the work of saving our country and our planet.

... ah who am I kidding?  I'm no politician.  And this liberal-leaning blog post has probably cost me more friends than I would have had votes.  Still, it's nice to dream about a politician who had more than his career in mind when he voted on shit.  Oh well.

NaNoWriMo, day 3

At the start of day three of this little project, I find that I'm moving faster through story setup than I usually do.  First chapter introduced the basic premise, chapter two takes that basic premise and sets pieces in motion.  Bang, boom.  I'm kind of enjoying this whole seat of my pants writing thing.  I spend less time thinking about what to write and more time just writing.

The hard part is shutting off the part of my brain that says "fix this" or "change that."  I can't afford to care about how stupid it may sound, I have a word count and a deadline to make.

The site mentions that in order to finish on time, you should average 1,667 words per day.  I did 1,776 on day one, and 966 on day two.  I'm learning that it might be prudent to shut my phone off when I'm writing, so as to avoid any stupid interruptions.  A phone call with a sick friend today became a twenty minute session of inane conversation, medicated yawning and intermittent silence that I could have easily mistaken for dozing off.

The focus on this writing project also means I have to avoid, like a plague, the dating landscape.  Arm-twisting not included.  It doesn't mean that I should be a shut-in, or that I should avoid the things I like to do.  Moderation is the key to everything, and that's a lesson I've had to learn in most things in life this year.  As much as I would like to bury myself in my writing, I can't ignore the friendships I have with the people who help keep me sane (read: all of you).  And who knows?  A conversation i may have may spark a little more creativity...

NaNoWriMo, Day 1

It's been a month since I found out about NaNoWriMo.

That's the National Novel Writing Month to you and me, where the challenge is to write a 50,000 word novel within the month of November.  The prize?  Having written a 50,000 word novel within the month of November.  It's a contest the way a 5K run/walk is a contest.  You're going up against yourself and your own expectations.  I decided that if I'm going to be serious about a writing career, 5 years between novels isn't going to cut it.

The story I picked is about relationships, expectations, and the rules therein.  Updates will follow daily.

Latina Fetish

I've always had a thing for latinas.

There was something about the roll of the "r." Or about the skin and thick curly hair.

Or about the way everything sounds sexier in Spanish, even if they're cussing out your

mother. (Go ahead, ask a Spanish girl to do it. I'll wait.)

I was listening to my mp3 player on the drive home from work, and finally -- finally --

I realized the source.

Yes, that makes me cheesy. I'm a huge fan, always have been. Don't get me wrong, I

know she's married, and by now she's in her late 50's. But she still looks like this:

Thanks to her, I've dated a lot of latinas. I've openly stated that I would lick Salma

Hayek's shadow off a hot sidewalk. A lot of old girlfriends were pissed at me for

that. But I'm saying. I've had her image burned into my head since I was five. Can

you blame me?

All seriousness now, I have to say I have nothing but respect and admiration for

everything the woman has accomplished. I mean, she had a very successful decade in the

90's after she BROKE HER BACK and was told she would NEVER WALK AGAIN. Props to the

ever-lovely, ever youthful Gloria Estefan. Buy her new album.

People aren't always what we think they are...

I never would have believed it, but there's a mildly compelling argument that my favorite ballplayer is a major league douche.

I went to a ballgame with my brother and his wife, an awesome experience in a pretty cool ball park.  Now I'll leave out the particulars (names, places, etc.) so as to not put anyone on blast -- Lord knows I don't want to influence negative opinion on this dude, or the team -- but the people who know me best will know the whos, whats and wheres of this little story.  We went to pregame batting practice, and as my team was the visiting squad, we were fortunate enough to come in after the home team did their thing.  Players took batting practice, fielding practice, stretched and whatnot, generally giving the fans a show.  As they returned to the dugout they were showered by the screams of the fans that came to see them on the road, as well as the requests of autograph seekers.  As always with this kind of situation, some requests are more obnoxious than others and I'll be the first to admit that upon entering the ball park, my inner 12 year-old came out and I was easily one of the more obnoxious fans.  Some players stopped and acquiesced to the wishes of these autograph seekers, stopping for 20, maybe 30 minutes and signing literally hundreds of baseballs, programs, ball caps, even t-shirts.

One player in particular, my favorite, was conspicuous by his absence in the autograph session.  now of course, the more obnoxious adult fans like myself deserve to be ignored by these guys.  However, children -- actual 12 year-olds in some cases and in most cases much more tolerable than myself -- were also denied this player's attention, save for the one kid he flipped a baseball to.  He ignored them for the most part.  No signatures.  no high fives with the kids.  Nothing.  It shocks me because this sort of thing is in direct contrast with public perception, that of the very approachable, seemingly nice-guy superstar.

I don't claim to know what goes on in this man's personal life, nor do I care.  Quite frankly, the daily life of most athletes does nothing for me, and my only interest in them is in their ability to entertain me with their talents and to further the goals of the team I follow.  I don't know if he's a nice guy -- I mean, he may just be -- and honestly, that sort of thing doesn't concern me.  And it is perfectly within his right to ignore fans.  He is, after all, preparing to go to work.  It's just that I didn't expect the indifference to children.  I mean, there was one kid in particular, confined to a wheelchair with cerebral palsy, who was collecting autographs from both teams, even the scrubs.  This ballplayer walked right by him.  It didn't make me rage against the guy, but it did make me say "huh."

It doesn't change my opinion of the guy.  He's still a phenomenal talent, and I would still trade my best 24 hours for his worst.  I just don't expect him to kiss babies.

And who knows, maybe I'm just annoyed because my team lost.

The Best Revenge/RIP Andy Whitfield

Before I begin, I must over a very strong RIP for Andy Whitfield, star of the Starz series Spartacus: Blood and Sand.  I was a huge fan of the show, and quote many Spartacus-isms in my own speech ("Gratitude." "Apologies."  "Take hold of your c**k and be a man!").  He attained the success we all want in the final years of his life, and will always be remembered as the iconic character for our age.  Cold beers in the air, have one for the road.  May you kick ass with double swords in the afterlife.

***

I no longer live in fear.

This may have as much to do with the fact that I no longer live and work in New York as it does with the fact that there is nothing more the terrorist threat can do to me, but I am no longer afraid.  Perhaps that is the best revenge.  I don't worry about the next hijacked plane, or flying again, or any of it.  I've already looked into the eye of the storm.  I know what's there.  and it's not so scary when you've already seen it.

I was scared ten years ago.  The World Trade Center was my favorite landmark in my favorite city, and seeing it in rubble was deeply scarring.  Same as anyone, there are things I saw, smelled and felt that will be with me the rest of my life.

I remember the footprint my size thirteen Nike made in the wet ash along Rector and West, two blocks away from the towers.  I recall the first time the N train passed Cortlandt Street/WTC station, and how everyone got silent, as if the next move someone would make would bring the whole thing crashing down on their heads.  I remember seeing the iconic shot of the arches alone the entrance way, broken and on its side, atop all the rubble and burning stuff.  The smell of burning glass and steel, with a hint of charred human flesh. The dust on all the windows.  The posters.  All of it is so very easily recalled.  I wonder if this is what the people who talk about the Kennedy assassination mean when they say they know where they were.

I do not live in fear however.

I refuse to live in fear anymore.

I will never forget, and I will never again fear.

First days of Fall/Black dude singing country

Okay, I hate to admit it, but I was the weirdo that absolutely loved the first day of school.

Back home, the air had a certain smell to it.  Leaves started to change colors, and the big yellow cheese buses rolled by with much more frequency.  Early-morning and late afternoon chatter of children seemed to highlight the weekdays.  My favorite season was rolling in, and it was in this in-between time during the first few weeks of school that I absolutely loved life.  I mean, sure homework got old before the calendar turned to October, but the first few weeks of September always had and always will have a sensation of newness to it.

And then there's baseball.

Over the last decade and change, I've come to view playoff baseball as my natural-born right, and to the surprise of absolutely no one, the Yankees are once again poised for an October run (eat it, Mets fans!).  The years in which the Yanks go deep into the playoffs always seem shorter than the ones in which the get sent home from the dance early.  No matter when it's over, the first few days of fall always seem to gear up that sense of anticipation in me.

I anticipate good things for the rest of this year for my friends, my family, and myself.  It seems like that last barrier that a lot of people that surround me have is about to break.  I can feel it for others because I see it coming for me as well.  Let's make this Fall a classic, shall we?

***

The other night, I reminded myself why I stopped drinking.

Monday night was karaoke night in a local bar, and for some god-unknown reason I felt it was appropriate to make my singing debut.

Thankfully, though, due to the fact that there was no appropriate recording device, I will not post the video evidence of my interpretation of "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy."

Either my best friend was looking out for me, or he wasn't.

Peace.